Thursday, November 30, 2006

German Intellectuals

Strong work, Flora. I am now a sultry brunette.

Flora is my fabulous Armenian hairdresser at the Burbank mall, who has colored my hair platinum blonde, dark blonde, red and pink in the past. Not all at the same time, mind you, except for the red and pink. I had bright pink in the front (Vampire Red from Manic Panic) and dark red in the back this summer, which was awesome. Unfortunately, it takes forever to do the bleach/Manic Panic thing. If it didn't take 3+ hours, I would have lavender hair tonight instead of brown.

Although I'm not a lesbian (to the best of my knowledge...) I think women with blue eyes and dark hair are stunningly pretty, which is why I decided to implement the look on myself. Rachel Weisz? Stunning. Eva Green? Stunning. Also, Eva's Bond girl, Vesper Lynd, wears the same fragrance I do. That combined with my celebrity lookalikes should be all the proof anyone needs that I'm a fox. Ha!

I have had dark hair three or four times in the past. When I was 20, the woman who colored my hair went overboard, and my hair ended up nearly black. I was wearing a ridiculous pair of Armani eyeglasses at that stage in my life, and the glasses combined with the black hair made me look sort of hideous. At least I think I looked hideous. My friend Curtis thought I looked like a scary German intellectual. Black hair, weird frames... I see why he got that vibe, honestly. Flora, on the other hand, does better work. Now I just look like a natural brunette. With my current glasses, which are more restrained, I think I look completely non-threatening.

What else is new? Work: playing cops and robbers with DVD pirates (I'm the cop, obviously). Personal life: trying to understand why I only ever go on first dates. I alluded to insecurity about my looks in a previous post, but I don't think my looks are the problem -- unless I can't tell an honest statement from a baldfaced lie, which is certainly a possibility. On every Internet date I've had so far, the guys have told me I was "gorgeous," "pretty" or "40 times cuter than [my] photo." This is good, right? They can't all be lying to me, right? Which must mean that my personality is the problem. Bollocks.

I like my brother's advice: declare these dates victories and move on.


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