Zero Hour

90 Feet to Free Tacos!

2007-10-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to roll over to Taco Bell next week for THIS promotion! It's gonna be sick! Remember to pick up a cheesy beefy melt while you're there.

We Need To Travel

2007-10-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling like a trip is coming on soon... Perhaps you should too? I heard this read for the first time by my friend Ari in the Wind River Range at night.

We need to travel. If we don’t offer ourselves to the unknown, our senses dull. Our world becomes small and we lose our sense of wonder. Our eyes don’t lift to the horizon; our ears don’t hear the sounds around us. The edge is off our experience, and we pass our days in a routine that is both comfortable and limiting. We wake up one day and find that we have lost our dreams in order to protect our days. Don’t let yourself become one of these people. The fear of the unknown and the lure of the comfortable will conspire to keep you from taking chances the traveler has to take. But if you take them you will never regret your choice. To be sure, there will be moments of doubt when you stand alone on an empty road in an icy rain, or when you are ill with fever in a rented bed. But as the pains of the moment end you will be much richer, so much stronger, so much clearer, so much happier, so much better a person that all the risk and hardship will seem like nothing compared to the knowledge you have gained.

-Kent Nerburn

Product Recommendation: Moleskine Notebook

2007-09-18T12:42:00.001-07:00

Dear Readers, I have an amazing product to recommend! After my latest trip to the Wind River Wilderness, and after having it suggested to me by my friend Kenneth that I write down more stuff, I decided (finally) to act! Once I had returned to the Noble Hotel in Lander after the trip, I walked across the street to the bookshop to see if they sold Moleskine Notebooks, not feeling very optimistic. It turned out that they did, so I thought about it for about five minutes and then purchased one. Two members of my NOLS expedition in the southern Winds had such notebooks, and they're really cool. It doesn't really matter what kind of notebook you get, but this one does seem handy. So I've started carrying it with me in my pannier most places I go and then borrowing a pen from someone whenever I want to write something down. This might include phone numbers, thoughts, plans, feelings, or other things. I also taped a note from someone else into it. Pretty cool. I also plan to use it to write sections of my book when my laptop is not around. It is becoming apparent that it is much easier to transpose from the notebook than it is to do so from a copy of the New York Times.

Friday Random Ten: Back To The Blog (After 8 Months) Edition

2007-09-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

In God's Country U2
Somebody Told Me The Killers
How Soon Is Now? The Smiths
Silver and Gold U2 (From B-Sides 1980-1990)
Dani California Red Hot Chili Peppers
Stretch Out And Wait The Smiths
All I Want Is You U2
Damaged Goods Gang Of Four
Lucy The Divine Comedy
An Cat Dubh U2

That's a lot of U2! Appropriate, as I watched The Wind That Shakes The Barley last night with my (mostly) Irish-American boyfriend. Too bad I haven't tracked down the necessary USB cable for my "new" digital camera, otherwise I'd be sharing a photo of the cat dubh ("black cat") from my neighborhood.

Gypsy's Maiden Voyage

2007-02-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

I took my new sailboat out for her first voyage today. It was a beautiful day in Santa Barbara with light air - the perfect day for Gypsy's first sail. It was a bit of an adventure, but I guess that's what sailing is all about. My friend Gustavo, who is a Brazilian I met at the Hostel, and friend of his named Dom came along. There were 3 of us. We towed the boat over with Dom's truck which was interesting because his ball hitch was too big for the trailer, so the trailer was just sort of perched on the hitch. Fortunately it stayed put. We managed to launch the boat without event and only had one scary moment when we almost ran into the spinning propeller of a very large inflatable harbor patrol vessel that was parked on the dock. fortunately we were able to push off of it with the whisker pole and use the paddle to get away. Then we caught the wind and were on our way. We had an educational experience that lasted for fifteen minutes or so when we pointed the boat into the wind, stopped, and debated amongst ourselves the best way to get going again. This we still haven't figured out, save to say that it's best to not leave the boat pointed into the wind in the first place. Maybe my friend John can explain it to me... We did make a long series of tacks coming back into the harbor which was a lot of fun. Initially we started out just using the mainsail, but then decided to put up the jib after an hour or so. Once we put up the jib things got quite a bit faster. It was around that time that Gustavo suggested naming the boat Gypsy. I liked the name and it stuck. Once I got back to the Hostel, I put the name on the transom with electrical tape. After returning to the launch ramp and pulling Gypsy out of the water, the three of us walked over to Stearns Wharf and drank a couple of bottles of Champagne to celebrate the beginning of this next adventure.

Why Bush's Health Care "Plan" Sucks

2007-01-27T01:37:00.000-08:00

I have not seen this mentioned elsewhere on the blogs, but it is just one reason our nationwide health care system, run as it is by profit-driven corporations, is fatally flawed. Some of us cannot purchase our own health insurance due to preexisting conditions. (I have asthma.) I am fortunate to be on a group plan through my employer, but I have tried unsuccessfully to buy my own policy in the past. The President's suggestion of tax breaks for people buying their own health insurance would do fuck-all for someone like me.

The more obvious problem is explained well by Stephen Colbert. If you are already getting all your withholdings refunded because you earn next to nothing, you can't very well get any more money back than what was already withheld.

Despite being the sort of person who gives others the benefit of the doubt, I've always suspected this administration was all about spinning the media coverage while doing very little in the way of actually governing. How could anyone possibly think the State of the Union healthcare proposal (or any GWB proposal ever, for that matter) was good policy? How?! It is my opinion that very little thought went into this proposed "reform." The President needed to pad out his speech and "domestic agenda," so his people spent maybe five minutes coming up with a few (really stupid) ideas. This administration simply does not give a shit about Americans (much less anyone else). The alternative explanation for the administration's suckitude is that the President and his advisers are simply unaware of how pathetically inadequate their policy proposals are. I find that hard to believe, given that these people appear capable of dressing and feeding themselves. My father holds this more charitable view, but I think these people are moderately to highly intelligent and cynical as hell. They know damn well how worthless their policies are.

This country needs to guarantee health care for everyone, no exceptions. Frankly, it is the only civilized thing to do. Deductibles could be determined by income. I would propose that private insurers still be permitted to sell their services to those who feel additional insurance is worth the additional expense. I don't think we need to worry ourselves about ballooning costs, given that our health care expenses are completely out of control already.

It would be wonderful if no one were ever again trapped in a job because she needed the insurance benefits. Economic hardship is a huge limitation on the freedom of many - if not most - Americans. More freedom would be a good thing.

2007-01-19T19:50:00.000-08:00

Pure Nerd
73 % Nerd, 21% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on nerdiness

You scored higher than 99% on geekosity

You scored higher than 99% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Friday Random Ten + Friday Cat Blogging

2007-01-12T11:53:00.000-08:00

"Taking-the-day-off-in-sunny-SoCal" Edition

Madonna Hung Up
Red Hot Chili Peppers Dani California
The Cure Lovesong
Creedence Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
Billy Idol White Wedding
Red Hot Chili Peppers Under the Bridge
No Doubt Hella Good
Green Day Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Green Day Holiday
Creedence Fortunate Son

Pasela

Bicycle Tour to San Francisco

2006-12-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

I recently rode my bike from San Diego to San Francisco, and decided to take my sister Graefix's advice and post on the blog about the journey. This is in case the post inspires anyone to take a similar journey - it's actually very easy to do! You can go pretty much anywhere you want in the UNIVERSE on a bike and it's pretty cheap too. Seriously though, get yourself a cheap used road bike, get on ebay and find some old panniers (saddlebags) and a rack and voila! you're ready to start the tour. It's almost as simple as that.
My trip began in Oceanside, California at Hydrovisions where a friend of the family runs his small boat factory manufacturing Raptor 16 outrigger sailboats. I made my way through southern California slowly, stopping regularly for food at Denny's and El Pollo Loco. My first interesting stop was at an archery range on Camp Pendleton where I asked to shoot some arrows. However, you have to be a cub scout - literally a Cub Scout, I'm not using "Cub Scout" as a derogatory term toward Marines - in order to shoot arrows, so no dice.
I discovered on night one of my trip that my sleeping arrangement was not going to work quite as I had planned. I had decided to leave my tent in Oceanside since I didn't have room for it in my panniers, and was happy because I would be saving weight anyway. I learned at Doheny Beach campground in Dana Point - which I found after receiving directions from a San Clemente police officer who told me that I was in God's country - that my rainfly doesn't pitch without the tent, so I did't have much shelter. I bought some clothesline at Ralph's and sewed some jury-rig things at Starbucks to try to make it work, but it didn't work, so I bought a tarp the next morning, left my rainfly and poles with Graefix in Pasadena and hoped for good weather on my trip.
I had fabulous sunshine for the entire ride to San Francisco and even met up with an Irish rider named Colm (pronounced "Column") who was also going North. I met him in Pismo Beach, which is California's ATV Mecca because of its dunes which allow ATVs to run free. I searched the whole town for a "Hike & Bike" campsite (a campsite which usually costs between $3 and $5 for cyclists and hikers) but couldn't find anything except for a $20 RV site. Finally I reached the end of the line at the Pismo State Beach North Campground where I found two cyclists who had shelled out the $20 for RV sites, and Colm was nice enough to share one with me. I took out my 24 (or was it 25?) oz. Foster's and rested easy with the knowledge that I had a place to stay. I wound up riding with Colm for the next two weeks until he reached Santa Cruz where he got a job as a carpenter making $22.50 an hour the second day after he got there. The last I knew he was living in his Mountain Hardwear tent - the same one that saved me from many a cold night under the tarp - in the redwoods outside Santa Cruz and not paying rent and hitting the Irish Pub each night. I hope to visit Colm again someday, and it was very fortunate that we joined forces on the ride!
Back to the ride, I've skipped over some of California's coast that might be worth mentioning. In Santa Barbara I checked out the Santa Barbara Mission where one of Santa Barbara's seemingly limitless supply of elderly (and I'm paraphrasing Lonely Planet here) public attraction (e.g. library, museum, visitor center, etc.) employees told me that yes they had a credit card machine but that no I couldn't use it because $4 was too small an amount to charge on a credit card.
In Lompoc I didn't have to go to the MIssion because there's an excellent mural of it right next to El Taco Loco, where I stopped for lunch. In fact, there are excellent murals all over the place in Lompoc. There just aren't really any people. And there is lots of wind. It's very strange and sterile light there with a constant wind blowing and very clean streets, like a 1970s movie set. And on the side of every building there is a mural. Very interesting. I liked Lompoc. It's pronounced Lom-poke.
The Big Sur coast was beautiful, but the town of Gorda pissed off my friend Colm to no end because the owner of the general store there placed stickers over the "99cent" markers on Doritos bags that said "$3" in bright orange letters. On the bright side he did find a pair of sunglasses there that he liked more than the ones he lost at the (BEAUTIFUL) campsites accross the street from the general store.
They have a sign along the Big Sur coast that has metric conversions - only one though. Perhaps a communist lives there and was tired of figuring out in his head every day how many kilometers away the Monterey Peninsula was on his drive to work. Strange.
Monterey was most remarkable for its pleasant scenery and the presence of Veterans Memorial Park - a campground on the top of a hill *in the middle* of Monterey where cyclists and hikers can camp for $5. It's a beautiful place to stay and I recommend it for anyone considering a visit to Monterey.
Santa Cruz was also pretty, and has a remarkably creepy carnival scene along the beach. Colm and I rode through it early one morning when nobody was there, it was an interesting experience. This is where they shot the movie "The Lost Boys" I think.
Beyond Santa Cruz I was almost to my destination of San Francisco. I made a final camping stop in Half Moon Bay, where I slept under a beautiful Juniper tree and watched the best sunset of the trip. So for me it was Half Sun Bay. I met a cyclist there riding a tank - what I've come to call bikes loaded with way too much gear: panniers on front and back, sleeping bags and pads strapped on, etc. He was a nice guy, and had some interesting stories about riding through the Pacific Northwest right in the middle of all the shit you all saw on the news - yeah, the flooding in Seattle, the rain in Oregon, all of it. He almost quit, but kept going. He was forced to stay in a hotel for $120 one night only 7 miles from a campground because the weather was so horrible he literally couldn't ride any further. He was also on a tight schedule which meant that he'd been pushing his tank between 60 and 70 miles a day for 23 straight days when I met him. Jesus Christ. He was a trooper! He was riding from Vancouver to San Diego.
In Pacifica I stayed with my friend Forrest from Boulder for a couple of days and met his brother and his father, and had a great time hanging out with his friends. We went to Winter's Bar where I saw several fights almost break out and where Forrest told me about how he had barely prevented someone from being stabbed there the week before and where two weeks before someone *had* been stabbed there. There was a band which started out covering various rock bands but then settled on AC/DC for the last hour and a half until last call.
On my final push into San Francisco I stuck to the coast until I had crossed the Golden Gate Bridge and crossed into Marin Highlands. There I rode through a mile-long tunnel which runs traffic through one way at a time at five minute intervals. Pretty exciting to do on a bicyle in the dark with oncoming traffic! What a neat tunnel. On the other side is a beautiful world of rolling green hills and pastures that is Marin Highlands. One can camp for free there at Bicentennial Campground, and I did. A mile and a half before reaching this idyllic spot I hit a speedbump, however. One of my panniers bounced off my rack, which is a seatpost-mount rack, flew out on its bungee cord, and was launched back into the rack. This impact propelled the rack into the spokes of my back wheel. When the rack was sucked into my wheel, the wheel locked up, a hole was burned in my tire, and a few seconds after I stopped my tube burst with a loud "Pop!" that left my ears ringing. Remarkably, I didn't break a spoke even though the rack was totally mangled. I walked it the remaining mile and a half to the visitor center and then another half mile to the campsite where I took lotsa pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge.
I got back to Pasadena via Amtrak, from whence Graefix drove me to the Santa Barbara Tourist Hostel where I am now employed part time. Of all the places on my trip I liked Santa Barbara the most and that's why I'm here now. The plan now is to learn how to sail, work at Bicycle Bob's, and see what the future brings.

Link Love

2006-12-04T00:57:00.000-08:00

I met this fabulous woman tonight at a party on Cahuenga. She approached me because she thought I looked familiar, but I'm pretty sure we've never met. I immediately decided she was an L.A. archetype: pretty, blonde and an astrologer/actress. Groovy. She's now in the sidebar, as is my friend Curtis.

I am a Scorpio, and I think I am also an Aries rising. If this is the case, I am a "Super Scorpio," according to Aura. Aura told me that Scorpios make good doctors and surgeons, in part because of our physical stamina. As someone who stayed awake >40 consecutive hours working this week, I'm inclined to believe her.

German Intellectuals

2006-11-30T01:50:00.000-08:00

Strong work, Flora. I am now a sultry brunette.

Flora is my fabulous Armenian hairdresser at the Burbank mall, who has colored my hair platinum blonde, dark blonde, red and pink in the past. Not all at the same time, mind you, except for the red and pink. I had bright pink in the front (Vampire Red from Manic Panic) and dark red in the back this summer, which was awesome. Unfortunately, it takes forever to do the bleach/Manic Panic thing. If it didn't take 3+ hours, I would have lavender hair tonight instead of brown.

Although I'm not a lesbian (to the best of my knowledge...) I think women with blue eyes and dark hair are stunningly pretty, which is why I decided to implement the look on myself. Rachel Weisz? Stunning. Eva Green? Stunning. Also, Eva's Bond girl, Vesper Lynd, wears the same fragrance I do. That combined with my celebrity lookalikes should be all the proof anyone needs that I'm a fox. Ha!

I have had dark hair three or four times in the past. When I was 20, the woman who colored my hair went overboard, and my hair ended up nearly black. I was wearing a ridiculous pair of Armani eyeglasses at that stage in my life, and the glasses combined with the black hair made me look sort of hideous. At least I think I looked hideous. My friend Curtis thought I looked like a scary German intellectual. Black hair, weird frames... I see why he got that vibe, honestly. Flora, on the other hand, does better work. Now I just look like a natural brunette. With my current glasses, which are more restrained, I think I look completely non-threatening.

What else is new? Work: playing cops and robbers with DVD pirates (I'm the cop, obviously). Personal life: trying to understand why I only ever go on first dates. I alluded to insecurity about my looks in a previous post, but I don't think my looks are the problem -- unless I can't tell an honest statement from a baldfaced lie, which is certainly a possibility. On every Internet date I've had so far, the guys have told me I was "gorgeous," "pretty" or "40 times cuter than [my] photo." This is good, right? They can't all be lying to me, right? Which must mean that my personality is the problem. Bollocks.

I like my brother's advice: declare these dates victories and move on.

Gnarly, Dude!

2006-11-28T23:17:00.000-08:00

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T00:48:00.000-08:00

My co-blogger and brother Estifallen* is riding his bicycle up the California coast for the next couple (several?) weeks, so I spent Thanksgiving on my own. I think this was my fourth Thanksgiving spent alone, and I'm actually fine with that. As I get older, I care less and less about holidays. I haven't really celebrated my birthday since I turned 21 - and that involved drinking so much champagne with my friends that I was unable to read the menu by the time we went to dinner - and now Thanksgiving and Christmas are also beginning to lose their luster. I may finally have emerged from my cocoon as the bitchy cynic I was always destined to become. Awesome.

I had an appointment with my therapist yesterday. She's really starting to grow on me. I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I started seeing her. I thought maybe we'd do some cognitive behavioral therapy, but that is not her specialty. Instead we talk about my feelings. It took me a long time to get past my initial discomfort with the "feelings" stuff, but seeing her now is kind of like seeing a friend, albeit a more sophisticated, better educated friend than most of my actual LA friends. I'm reading The Beauty Myth, so we talked about that a bit. I think she may have gotten the impression that I'm insecure about my looks, which is not always the case. It used to be a big issue for me, but it has lately been superseded by insecurity about my personality brought about by Internet dating. I am undeterred, however, in my quest for a brilliant and witty boyfriend. It's a big step for me to look at dating as anything other than a competitive catfight. I think it's super unhealthy to look at other women as rivals. If a man is more interested in another woman than he is in me, I'm okay with that. I'm such a grown-up now, right? I'm certainly impressed with myself....

Naomi Wolf quotes William Butler Yeats in the Sex chapter of The Beauty Myth:

Only God, my dear
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.

I don't feel like writing anymore; I would prefer to drink a glass of wine and read blogs written by writers with talent and something to talk about besides me, me, me. I just felt like putting those three lines up because they are so totally creepy. By this time next week, I hope to be a blonde no more (speaking of yellow hair). I am strongly considering dark brown hair. I think I am less likely to be mistaken for a sunny optimist with darker hair. Going dark has the added benefit of getting my eyebrows tinted to match. I love, love, love dark eyebrows. Love them. Never had them, always wanted them. They give character to a face. Think Rachel Weisz (who I am totally crushing on, BTW) or Jennifer Connelly.

*"Estif" is how "Steve" sounds when spoken by native Latin American Spanish speakers.

Now I know why everyone mistakes me for Miss World

2006-11-07T23:43:00.000-08:00

Party On, Garth.

2006-11-07T22:51:00.000-08:00

Seeing the Democrats take back the House of Representatives has made me giddy. I'm drinking Bushmills and burning Armenia papers to celebrate. My apartment smells like a church. I'll have to go all-out if we win the Senate, too. I may even drink something French.

Those of you who visit this blog from time to time have undoubtedly noticed my 8-month absence. I haven't been traveling the world or writing the great American novel, I'm sorry to say. I've been hanging out deep inside my own brain, working through what my psychiatrist calls "OCD and depression" and my father calls "dogging it." You say "to-may-to," I say "to-mah-to," right? I'm feeling better lately, though. I've even started dating. Hooray for me! It's been a mixed bag, but I had an amazing date on Sunday night. Cross your fingers he's still interested in me now that he's sober.

Online Dating Tips

2006-11-07T18:38:00.000-08:00

1.) I strongly advise against going out for drinks and a Robin Williams movie, but if you're going to do it, at least get the drinks first.

The Most Ridiculous Arms Race Since...

2006-10-29T22:42:00.000-08:00

The Razor Blade Wars.

File this one under ridiculous trends in consumer products. Apparently the extra outlets, fans and nightlights were not enough. Now you can have a fucking light show with your air freshener, thanks to the brainiacs at Glade. I consider almost any commercial "air freshener" to be a fragrance abomination, but flashing lights and a "Watermelon Rush" scent? The concept is so over-the-top, I can't see how Renuzit will respond. Sound effects, perhaps?

Santa Maria Novella Potpourri is the only home fragrance product I endorse.

Thoughts on the Ladies' Long Program - Figure Skating

2006-02-23T21:23:00.000-08:00

How very, very sad that Irina Slutskaya did not win tonight. I've been pulling for her in these Games, especially after her joyful short program. She telegraphs great confidence and strength on the ice, and I love how un-prissy she is. She is not one of the glamour girls of figure skating, but watching her skate makes me really happy. Irina looks like she is having fun out there. Sasha Cohen - easily the most glamourous of this year's competitors - makes me nervous when she skates. I keep waiting for her to fall apart, and indeed she did somewhat in her long program. According to today's LA Times, she is 5'2" and weighs just 95 pounds. (!)

It was great to see Fumie Suguri end an otherwise unremarkable program on a really fast scratch spin. I think we used to see more of that before the new scoring system. So many of the skaters are sacrificing speed and style in their spins to cram in the catch-foot positions, which are presumably worth more points but are not especially elegant unless very well executed. Even if a skater is busting out some really tough spin positions, she looks tired to me without some real speed. If I were a judge, I think I would want to see a skater end on something clean and energetic.

Elene Gedevanishvili is a tremendous skater in the making. She is petite and adorable, but she has terrific presence and athleticism as well. Style points from me for avoiding the ubiquitous tan tights and opting for black instead.

As snarky as Dick Button can be, I generally agree with his commentary on the figure skating.

A blast from the past:

Check out these two examples of triple Axels by Midori Ito. The resolution is low, but it's not hard to see the incredible height and power of her jumps.

My first post, and my first recommendation for how to spend your time.

2006-02-21T23:56:00.000-08:00

If you feel the need to continue making good use of your time on the internet after checking out Zero Hour, then continue along to Newgrounds.com to watch Bunnykill cartoons - they will brighten your day, and possibly inspire you to write something insightful on the next blog you visit! (hopefully Zero Hour!)

Bunnykill

Bunnykill 2 (my personal favorite, and in my opinion the quintessential manifestation of Bunnykill)

Bunnykill 3, vol. 1

I Am Going to Hell

2006-02-09T00:36:00.000-08:00

If this little post were coffee, it would be really rank by now. It's been percolating here for two weeks or so*. What the hell - I'm going to publish it. Anyone who disagrees with me or has ideas to add is welcome to leave a comment.

I think about religion quite a bit. I am an atheist, and I am pretty sure I have never believed in God**. This is not to say I have been 100% rational my whole life. (Hardly.) The point is, I have been puzzled for years by the ubiquity of religion because the esoteric beliefs and the notion that faith is a virtue are anathema to my existential worldview. I don't get it, basically, but I am trying to understand.

This past Thanksgiving, I borrowed the December issue of the Atlantic Monthly from my father in order to read Paul Bloom's piece on religion entitled "Is God an Accident?" It is a good article, dealing mostly with the prevalence of religion and the role it may play in society. It is an interesting article, and it covers a variety of topics, so go read it if this topic interests you. Bloom quotes anthropologist Edward Tylor, who "got it right in 1871, when he noted that the 'minimum definition of religion' is a belief in spiritual beings, in the supernatural." This definition of religion is important, because for many if not most people, a belief in spiritual beings is conceptually coupled to some set of moral principles they associate with their faith. I see no reason why one cannot exist without the other. Indeed, this is often the case. I have a strong sense of right and wrong, I work hard to be tolerant and forgiving and I feel awful if I cause others pain, yet no one would use the word "religious" to describe me. On the other hand, someone like Fred "God Hates Fags" Phelps, who intentionally inflicts pain and intolerance, is undeniably "religious." Why? Because he believes in God. A hideous and vengeful God, granted, but his supernatural beliefs are reason enough to apply the term.

I rarely discuss my lack of belief with others - certainly not with casual acquaintances - and I think this is due to the widespread notion that religion is the only source of a person's morality. I don't like to waste time defending my worth as a person simply because my beliefs place me in the minority.

In addition to reading Paul Bloom's article in the Atlantic, there was a recent event that prompted me to write this post. A coworker of mine belongs to a "fundamental Bible church." He explained to me recently what his church is all about, and I admit I felt a bit uneasy. I was uneasy about the beliefs themselves, and I was uneasy about his uncritical acceptance of them. He is a recent convert (he received his baptism at his new church in October) so he is still learning the specifics, but his church believes - and by extension, he believes - there is evidence in the Bible that salvation is attained through faith alone, rather than through some combination of faith and good works. My thought upon hearing this was that his church was throwing out any social responsibilities religion might impose. Good works have always seemed to be the greatest - if not the only - benefit of organized religion. This man was brought up as a Catholic, so I can understand how the lowered threshold for salvation might be enticing. Do I sound judgmental? If so, consider the fact that my coworker thinks I am going to hell. What could be more judgmental than that?

I don't know whether religious beliefs are inherently dangerous to society. I am disturbed by irrationality in all forms, and religion is the pinnacle of irrationality. The prospect of an afterlife is clearly a tremendous source of comfort for many individuals. For my fundamentalist coworker, belief in a God who will forgive his trespasses - and apparently there have been many! - is his reason for getting up and going to work each day. I don't see a real benefit in denying him that.

I realize I'm not covering much new ground here, but it is useful for me to write about what I think. Even if no one reads this post or comments on it, I will have tied some loose thoughts together for myself. Plenty of good writing on religion, morality and human nature can be found at Majikthise, Pharyngula and Universal Acid.

*My grandfather used to leave the coffeepot on the stove for hours at a time while he talked politics with my father and uncles through the night. He sometimes left the pot on the stove overnight, only to discover a metallic puddle under the burner in the morning. I don't want this post to suffer the same fate.

**I did have a mental picture of heaven when I was little. It was a small wooden house in the sky, and it had white wallpaper covered with little yellow butterflies. I don't think there was any furniture there.

Remember that scene in "Office Space?"

2006-01-19T20:44:00.000-08:00

You know, that slow-motion scene in the field where the guys beat the shit out of the printer with a baseball bat? Well, I know that scene.

I have had a rather tiring day at work. It wasn't a bad day, exactly, but I am relieved to be home with a cup of tea (Republic of Tea, Vanilla Almond black tea - very yummy) and my laptop.

Here's what turned the day kind of sour. I like my boss very much, generally. He is extremely bright, and he can be very funny, but he has a gift for making me feel stupid. Not just me, but I wouldn't want to speak for anyone else. I felt very stupid this afternoon when I asked him for help with some labels I was printing. Actually, I did not ask for help. I asked if he had any blank labels I could borrow to fill out by hand.

"Don't you remember how to use the software to make your own?"

"I've been working on it for the last half hour," I said. Creating the label was no problem; printing was the issue.

The printer I need to use for this particular kind of label is on a different floor of the office from my cubicle, so I had been running up and down the stairs, sending print job after print job only to find the printer saying it had a jam. It did not have a jam, stupid printer. What I did not realize was that - with the exception of my first attempt at printing the labels - the problem was not a paper jam. In fact, the printer did not even think it had a jam. What it thought, rightly, was that someone (me) was trying to get it to print a letter-sized sheet of labels on legal-sized paper. I didn't realize this was the problem because the printer is stationed on a ridiculously high counter. I have to stand on my very tiptoes and kind of push myself up with my arms just to see the top half of the printer's little LCD screen.* I completely failed to see the error message about paper size - all I saw was the flashing "error" icon. I assumed it was still a paper jam (or a paper-jam related program activity). So I felt incredibly clueless when my boss gave me the look** and read the error message to me.

I try very hard to figure things out by myself before asking my boss - he's kind of my last resort. (Wikipedia never gives me the look. Come to think of it, this is really weird, because I didn't used to be so reluctant to ask questions. Hmm.) I had to bite the bullet this afternoon because the label needed to go on something that needed to be dropped off at FedEx, like, NOW!!! Had I not been so anxious to beat my deadline, I might have taken a breath and found a chair to stand on - or a tall person to read the printer's entire message to me.

I am going to try to get that religion post I promised up later tonight or tomorrow. No promises, however.

*I'm not even especially short. I am 1-1/2 inches shorter than the average American woman, last I checked. But (dammit!) when you work in an office with a lot of men and very few women, a lot of stuff is placed too high to see, reach, etc. One of my primary job functions has to be done on a stepladder.

**To be fair, I don't think he intends to do this. Usually.

Fortune Cookie Wisdom and a New Year's Resolution in One

2006-01-18T23:18:00.000-08:00

Speak only well of people and you need never whisper.

I have put this advice up on the fridge in my apartment.

Post Five

2006-01-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

Zero Hour was actually linked to today. Thanks, Robert!

I feel a bit badly for readers who wander in and discover how little there is to read. If you have come here from LGM, I hope you will return later this week. I am working on a post about religion, and I have solicited blog contributions on all topics from lawyers, mountaineers and film geeks I know.

In the meantime, ask yourself whether a film should be considered a "musical" simply because it is about musicians and there are songs in it. Yeah, I didn't think so either. I'm not convinced The Squid and the Whale is a comedy, either, though it has some funny scenes. I can only assume the Hollywood Foreign Press Association didn't feel they had enough musicals and comedies to fill the category.

Disposable Cell Phones

2006-01-14T18:30:00.000-08:00

Give me a break.

Scroll down to the paragraph in which the blogger writes that James Risen and the NY Times = Benedict Arnold. Exercise for the reader: is AJStrata the sort of dweeb Steve Gilliard described yesterday? Upyernoz gives a concise rebuttal in the comments at Strata-Sphere.

I can't see how the New York Times tipped anyone off about anything. By AJStrata's logic, Dick Wolf must be a traitor too. Those of us who watch Law & Order have long known that disposable cell phones are a good idea for bad people who don't want to get caught.

Via Atrios and Lawyers, Guns and Money.

Feminists and Lightbulbs

2006-01-12T23:50:00.000-08:00

Robert Farley of Lawyers, Guns and Money is impressed by the intense scrutiny British politicians face - both from the media and from the public - compared to what one typically sees on this side of the Atlantic. This is an excellent point, and indeed others have made it in the past. One of my English friends once told me it was inconceivable to her that a television show as deferential to authority as the West Wing would ever be made in Britain. The British are not nearly so awestruck by their leaders; any television program about the British Prime Minister would certainly be a piss-take. For my part, I find it difficult to imagine political satire as scathing as Private Eye taking hold in America. Except on the blogs.

Kieran Healy's 2003 post (linked to above) features an update in which he points out that British politicians hone their skills in cutthroat debate societies. Quite right. Many an Oxford Union President has gone on to bigger and better things.

Kieran's post also reminded me of one of the more stunning incidents I have ever witnessed. Incredibly, I find no mention of this incident anywhere on the Internets. It must be out there somewhere. If anyone reads about this elsewhere, let me know.

I was at the Oxford Union sometime between 1998 and 2000 to watch a debate on the motion "This House Believes Women Will Control the 21st Century" (or something similarly lame-sounding). Germaine Greer was one of the debaters. I honestly don't remember whether she was for or against the motion. I suppose she was probably for it. When she finally spoke, near the end of the debate, she said she was sorry to see that the Union was still the way she remembered it from decades earlier. The women were still using their looks ("hanging their tits out," as she put it) to get elected to office, etc. On the topic of debate, she said that the 21st Century would likely be out of everyone's control, if the late 20th Century was any indication. We were buggered, basically.

So what did I find so stunning that evening? Between the first and second halves of any debate, the floor of the Union is open to members of the society in attendance. (Anyone familiar with Oxford Union protocols should feel free to correct me in the comments if I get this wrong; I only attended a handful of debates at the Union.) During the comments from the floor, a dark-haired undergraduate - I believe it was OUCA (Google cache) member George Callahan - stood up and said that, although both sides of the debate had made excellent and interesting points, neither side had managed to answer the "age-old question" of how many feminists it takes to change a lightbulb.

[Dramatic pause]

The student was standing six feet from Germaine Greer when he gave his answer. "Two. One to change the bulb, and one to suck my cock."

It was a breathtaking moment. Literally. The hall was packed, but you could have heard a pin drop.

The Union President (Aitkens) was very upset, but Greer was not bothered in the slightest. In retrospect, the sheer audacity makes it quite funny. No one knew how to react at the time.

Not Just Crap

2006-01-11T21:33:00.000-08:00

My mother bought a box of Pop Champagne at the Corks liquor store in Montrose, Colorado, last month. I think it's a great idea, but I have yet to try it. Pop is sold in small bottles (1/4 regular size), and cute silver straws are included. Montrose is definitely Red America (despite having a Starbucks), so when my mother relayed this story to me, I pictured the liquor store clerk wearing a flannel shirt and Carhartt Overalls. He told my mother that all the runway models in Paris drink Pop backstage before a show. How the clerk at a liquor store in Montrose would know this is a mystery indeed.

As my mother paid for the champagne, he congratulated her on a good purchase. "It's not just crap, you know. It's French!" Ladies and gentlemen, I have a new catchphrase.

And is that Zoe Bartlett pimping Excedrin? Weird.

Inaugural Post

2006-01-10T03:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome! This is my fresh, new blog. Whether any posts appear in this space will depend upon the outcome of a tense struggle between my intellectual inertia and my narcissism.

2006 is a fresh start for us all - "zero hour," if you will.

Happy New Year. Onward and upward!